What If I Don’t Know What to Talk About in Therapy?
What happens when you have nothing to say.
At the beginning of therapy, there tends to be quite a bit to talk about with your therapist; there are policies to cover, questions to ask. You’re likely sharing info about your background, your family, major life experiences, symptoms, goals, and/or what brought you into therapy in the first place. Often, there’s a lot to say. But inevitably, there will be a session when you wonder…
What could I possibly talk about today?
This happens all the time, and there’s no need to worry. Let’s look at 4 key points to keep in mind the next time this happens.
Know that it’s absolutely okay
You don’t have to know ahead of time what you will talk about in therapy. In fact, you don’t have to talk at all if you don’t feel like it. Sometimes there are no words; We just need to sit and feel. There is no singular way to do therapy.
Take your time, sit quietly, close your eyes, go within
Try asking yourself “What do I need right now?”
The answer may be “A moment of quiet”…and that’s okay!
Feel free to talk about what you did that day, that week, what you’re anticipating in the coming days, or even what you ate for lunch. Everything is welcome—the deep and the mundane. As a therapist, I have found that when clients just start talking and let themselves wonder, they are often surprised by what comes up.
Start with the present moment
When in doubt, take a moment to slow down and just notice.
What’s on your mind right now? (even if its awkwardness about not knowing what to say)
Notice what’s happening in your body
Do you notice tension? Tingling? Restlessness? A dull ache? Is there a certain way your body wants to sit/move/stretch?
Breathe, get grounded, and allow yourself to land in the session
Whether therapy is online or in-person, many of us are coming to sessions straight from work or school, in the midst of a busy day, or perhaps after battling heavy traffic. Having time to ground can help you to transition into your therapeutic work.
You may even want to ask your therapist if you can practice mindfulness together at the start of each session.
Stay curious
What is it about not having something to say that feels bad? Do you tend to over-prepare for things? Notice your people pleasing tendencies? Believe that silence is to be avoided? Worry you’ll be judged?
Try to stay curious and compassionate towards your inner experience. All of these thoughts and worries are grist for the mill in therapy and can become a rich area of exploration. Share how you’re feeling with your therapist and allow them to support you through it.
Trust the process
This one might sound abstract, but bear with me. Your psyche is vast and holds all kinds of wisdom. It also tends to communicate in unexpected ways—through dreams, intuition, images, symbols, physical sensations, and even seemingly random thoughts or feelings; it doesn’t always make sense to the conscious mind. If we pay attention, psyche will show us what it wants us to know. In other words, whatever you are noticing, feeling, sensing, or thinking during a session—trust that there is wisdom in it.
Despite anxiety that might pop up, try not to prepare ahead of time for a session. Just show up as you are, and see where the session (and psyche) take you.
If you’re interested in beginning therapy and not sure where to start, click below to book a free consult. And learn more about my services here.
Reach out
If you’re curious about therapy and looking to get started, reach out. Let’s talk about how therapy can help.
When you’re ready, schedule a free consult call. I’d love to talk with you about how I work and answer any questions you may have. If we’re not the right fit, I’m happy to offer you referrals to other therapists in the area so you can find the best therapist for your needs.
Other services offered:
As a therapist serving Pasadena, CA and Los Angeles, CA, I offer therapy services in person and online to address a variety of goals and issues. Some of the services I offer include anxiety therapy, depression therapy, counseling for couples, teen therapy, therapy for relationship issues, therapy for life transitions, self-esteem and empowerment, career-related stress and stress management, family issues, codependency, and more. To read more, visit my blog, home page, services page, rates & FAQ, press & reviews, or approach & about me page.