Top 5 Therapy Questions

Written By Kelsey Blazak
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Whether you’re thinking about starting therapy for the first time or want to revisit therapy, the process of getting started can feel daunting and downright confusing. Unfortunately, this can hold many back from ever getting started. As a therapist in Pasadena who helps those with anxiety, depression, relationships and life transitions, I understand how this process has felt to my clients.

My hope is to clear up some of that confusion and demystify the experience of therapy by covering what are, in my experience, the 5 most-pondered therapy questions.

1. How does therapy work?

This is a big question, and it doesn’t have a clear-cut answer. There are many modalities, styles, and specialities that fall under the umbrella of therapy. And since there are various ways therapy can look, there are many ways therapy can work. I will speak from my own viewpoint and approach, though the below points will apply to most therapy.

  • A safe space

    • Therapy works by providing you (the client) with a secure, supportive, confidential space to unpack anything and everything that affects your life.

  • Healing in relationship

    • We don’t heal in a vacuum—we heal in relationship to others. The relationship you form with your therapist can provide a safe, corrective emotional experience. It can serve as a place to practice relational skills, communication skills, and allow your nervous system to regulate in the presence of a compassionate therapist.

  • Learning

    • Depending on your specific goals, therapy can help you gain insight into yourself and your life experiences, develop new skills, set boundaries, access and process emotions, practice mindfulness, and better understand how the mind and psyche works.

2. Will therapy actually help me?

  • First, know that this is a very common and understandable question. You may be thinking, “Sure, I believe therapy can work for others, but will with help me?”. And while, no one can ever really know what is best for you more than you, therapy is a large umbrella and can look many different ways. Don’t give up on finding the best fit for you and your specific needs and goals.

  • Just as nothing in life is guaranteed, progress in therapy is not a guarantee—this also depends on what “progress” means to you. There are several factors that play a part in allowing therapy to be most effective. When these factors are considered, I truly believe that therapy works and offers so many people incredible relief, support, and hope.

  • It’s important to find a therapist who has knowledge and experience with the challenges you are coming in to address.

  • When you’ve found a therapist who feels like the right fit for you, therapy can be a beautifully supportive, unique space in your life. Sitting with another person who is listening to you with compassion and curiosity, wants to understand, and truly cares about your wellbeing can be an incredibly healing experience in itself. You may be surprised by the shifts that can happen, simply by showing up, being honest, and remaining open to the process.

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3. When does therapy not work?

  • When it’s not the right fit

    • This is so important. Sometimes you just don’t vibe with someone, and that’s okay! You can usually sense if it’s the right fit on a phone consult and/or the first session. But if you’ve been working with a therapist for some time and wonder if it’s a good fit, talk to them about it. That may sound scary, but a good therapist with understand and be curious about your experience with them.

  • When you don’t feel safe/supported

    • If you don’t feel safe and supported by a therapist, you likely won’t feel comfortable unpacking your most vulnerable feelings and experiences with them.

  • When you don’t feel seen/heard/understood

    • It’s crucial that you actually feel listened to and understood, as this is the foundation of your therapy experience. Your therapist may not always agree with you, and at times, they may challenge certain thought patterns or limiting beliefs, but at the end of the day you should feel heard.

  • When you can’t commit to consistent sessions

    • Consistency is key to developing a strong relationship with your therapist, committing to your therapeutic goals, and actually making progress.

  • When you aren’t honest with your therapist

    • Your therapist can only help you with what you are willing to face honestly.

    • It’s completely okay if you don’t feel comfortable sharing every detail of a traumatic experience or if you aren’t quite ready to touch upon a certain topic.

    • Feeling understood and heard is crucial and will allow you to feel safe being honest with your therapist. Perhaps, you will be ready to process the more difficult topics in therapy at some point. It’s okay to talk to your therapist about that!

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4. Where do I begin to find a therapist?

  • Ask people you know

    • Friends, family, and coworkers can be a great resource for therapist referrals—just be mindful of your comfort with sharing the same therapist with someone you are close with who is also currently seeing that therapist.

  • Search for therapists in your area or by specialty through online listing sites

  • Ask for a referral from your doctor or another specialist

    • Often doctors, chiropractors, psychiatrists, and others can offer you referrals.

  • If a therapist isn’t the right fit for you, talk to them about this and ask if they can provide you referrals, so you can find the best therapist for your needs.

5. How do I know I have the right therapist for me?

  • Feel out the fit between you and the therapist.

    • This is really about personality and how you feel with them. Like meeting a friend, you tend to know pretty quickly if you click with someone. Follow your gut.

  • Logistics

    • Can you reasonably afford their fee? Does their schedule/availability work with yours? Is their office location workable for you? Think about if you can make this work on a consistent basis.

  • Area of expertise, training, education, and experience related to the issues you’d like to address

  • Style and approach

    • This is something, like the fit, that you may need to feel out. Give it a few sessions to see how you feel about the therapist’s approach.


Reach out

If you’re curious about therapy and unsure of how to move forward,
reach out and let’s talk about how therapy can help.

When you’re ready, schedule a free consult call. I’d love to talk with you about how I work and answer any questions you may have. If we’re not the right fit, I’m happy to offer you referrals to other therapists in the area so you can find the best therapist for your needs.

Other services offered:

As a therapist serving Pasadena, CA and Los Angeles, CA, I offer therapy services in person and online to address a variety of goals and issues. Some of the services I offer include anxiety therapy, depression therapy, counseling for couples, teen therapy, therapy for relationship issues, therapy for life transitions, self-esteem and empowerment, career-related stress and stress management, family issues, codependency, and more. To read more, visit my blog, home page, services page, rates & FAQ, press & reviews, or approach & about me page.

Kelsey Blazak
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