The Therapy Process
Illustration by ILARIA URBINATI
The above illustration by artist, Ilaria Urbinati, is one I love and which I feel cleverly depicts the therapy process—specifically, how therapy helps us make sense of our lives and our feelings while nurturing growth. It illustrates the uniqueness of the therapeutic relationship—one in which the client brings their emotions, challenges, and musings into the room and the therapist creates a safe container for all of it to be known and felt. When we can face what feels darkest to us in the presence of someone who can hold us with compassion, a transformation occurs. The dark cloud that once felt unbearable and all-consuming starts to feel lighter. We begin to see that we can tolerate and process those hard feelings. The dark cloud has made way for rain—the very thing that nurtures new growth.
There are a few factors pertinent to the therapy process that come to mind when I look at this illustration.
Therapy is a collaborative process
It may seem to some that the therapeutic relationship is one-sided (ie. clients share what they are going through and the therapist listens—this is true to an extent!) But for me, therapy is actually quite collaborative. As a therapist, I take in what clients are telling and showing me, and I reflect to them what I am hearing and noticing. Often, I validate and help them make sense of complicated emotions. I help them explore and sit with difficult emotions and dig deeper into certain personal or relational patterns. We work together to identify their specific goals, talk about approaches that feel most helpful to them, and change course when needed. This back-and-forth process makes for a stronger, more connected therapeutic relationship.
Connection
The best therapy outcomes are the result of a genuine relationship between a therapist and client. This is often referred to as a good “fit”. Urbinati’s illustration depicts a therapeutic relationship in which the client feels safe enough to be honest, bringing their deepest pain and dark storm clouds into the session. There is a clear baseline of trust which allows for the client to know that their dark storm clouds are not too much for the therapist to witness. In fact, the therapist in the image appears compassionate and attuned, but not rattled by the client’s feelings. She is present and grounded, encouraging the client to express themself.
Capacity for Healing
There is a misconception held by some that therapy is a place to “get healed” or that the therapist is the healer. I don’t believe this to be true. In my view, we all hold the capacity for healing, even our deepest wounds, within us. Therapists are not working miracles or healing their clients. They are fellow humans who show up with compassion, curiosity, and skill. They help clients to explore, process, and integrate the pain points in their life so that healing is possible. It is the client who seeks support, shows up with courage and honesty, is willing to face discomfort, and who is brave enough to look within and enact change in their inner and outer lives.
We all need a little extra support throughout various phases of life, and therapy can be an incredible way to receive that support. As a therapist in Pasadena, I sit with my clients as they reflect, stay curious, and process difficult emotions and experiences. Ultimately, my clients are the ones who show up for themselves so that positive change can take place and they can start feeling better.
Reach out
If you’re curious about therapy and looking to get started, reach out. Let’s talk about how therapy can help.
When you’re ready, schedule a free consult call. I’d love to talk with you about how I work and answer any questions you may have. If we’re not the right fit, I’m happy to offer you referrals to other therapists and resources so you can find the best therapist for your needs.
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As a therapist serving Pasadena, CA and Los Angeles, CA, I offer therapy services in person and online to address a variety of goals and issues. Some of the services I offer include anxiety therapy, depression therapy, counseling for couples, teen therapy, therapy for relationship issues, therapy for life transitions, self-esteem and empowerment, career-related stress and stress management, family issues, codependency, and more. To read more, visit my blog, home page, services page, rates & FAQ, press & reviews, or approach & about me page.